The Nancyness Continues
by Chaser Spinnet
Summary: A recently modified version of a story I wrote back in middle school for my cousins, who, like me, adored reading Nancy Drew and found boundless entertainment in laughing at the perfection of her character. This story exists primarily to provide amusement


"Hannah dear, could you bring me another dust cloth? I've run this one ragged!" Nancy Drew called out  
to her housekeeper, Hannah Gruen. The eighteen-year-old strawberry blond held a tattered dust filled  
piece of cloth in one hand, and an expensive looking sword hilt in the other.

"Here you go Nan darling." Hannah bustled in, holding a crisp white rag out to the young woman  
whom she had been a mother figure to for years. "Dusting your collection again I see." The elderly  
house keeper observed.

"Yes." Nancy replied, rubbing the dust rag over the sword hilt. "I still can't believe Dr. Andrews gave  
this to me! All I did was save his team of archaeologists from an international group of terrorists. He  
really didn't have to give me the hilt of the legendary sword Excalibur." Exclaimed a perplexed Nancy.  
Replacing the priceless antique, the teen detective drew out the next gift. "Oh, the Faberge egg Mrs.  
O'Neill gave me for saving her from that secret agent from Iraq who had been hiding out in the secret  
passages of her museum. She was nice." Nancy smiled, giving the egg's surface a final polish. "Oh,  
better be careful with this!" She chuckled, holding a glass case out in front of her. "I still can't believe  
President McHargue wanted me to have the Declaration of Independence. I'm sure I'm not the first to  
take a bullet for him after uncovering a secret plot to take over the United States, planned by some of  
his most trusted confidants."

"I'm sure you're right dear, but it was very thoughtful of him, don't you think?" Hannah agreed,  
stepping quickly over to the window, "I wonder who that is?" The woman muttered to herself, gazing  
out at the beat-up rental car parked next to their driveway, out on the street.

"Who?" Nancy queried, placing the key to the display case on the table. "I'll check it out. Maybe they  
have engine trouble." Nancy proposed, striding outside purposefully. When she was a few feet away  
from the car she let out a cry of surprise. "Frank and Joe Hardy! I just don't believe it! What are you  
two doing here?"

Frank Hardy smiled as he walked around the car towards her. "Is it a crime to come and visit my  
favorite female detective?" The dark-haired young man asked teasingly, greeting her with a hug. "The  
Gray Man sent us out here on a top secret case. We'll tell you more inside." He whispered softly in her  
ear.

Plastering a bright smile on her face she quickly went over to hug Joe, who, unlike his older brother, had  
golden blond hair. "Why don't you grab your things and come inside. I'm sure Hannah is dying to see  
you."

As soon as the three were safely inside Nancy turned to her friends. "Ok, so who's the Gray Man, and  
what is your case?"

"The Gray Man is a government contact who gives us our assignments." Eighteen-year-old Frank  
explained simply, "And we've been sent to River Heights to uncover a smuggling ring."

Nancy gasped in surprise. "A smuggling ring, here?"

"Yup, unfortunately we have no real suspects, just some hunches and shady characters the government  
sent us to investigate. Do you happen to know a Linda Cassidy or a Brent Hanover?" Seventeen-year-old  
Joe asked.

"Linda and I went to school together. She was two years ahead of me, but we were in soccer and tennis  
together." Nancy mulled over the second name. "Hanover, oh yes! His dad owns a major jewelry factory  
near here. Brent is going to inherit the company when his father dies."

"Expensive jewelry?" Frank wanted to know. "As in worth smuggling?"

"Second best this side of the Nile." Nancy replied smoothly. "First is Cohen's. No boys, I don't think  
they'd have a motive. Their earnings are more than double Hanover's."

"Well Cohen's sounds like a bust. They wouldn't need any extra cash from a smuggling ring. But what  
about the Hanover's? It could be an inside job, or maybe Brent is tired of sitting around waiting for  
the company and decided to earn some cash." Frank voiced his thoughts to the group.

"Maybe. What about Cassidy though? Could she be involved in anything shady?" Joe asked Nancy.

"We've lost touch over the past few years so I have no clue. She did run with a rough crowd though. I  
hate to say it but for once I think you have two very good suspects." Nancy teased the boys while  
whipping out a phone book. "So, who's going to talk to whom?"

"Hold on one minute Miz Drew." Joe drawled in a horribly fake Western drawl. "Jus' what makes you  
think we're gonna risk hurtin' a lovely lady like yourself?"

"Tough luck Cowboy! My town, my rules, I'm helping. Now, Frank, you and I will visit Linda, Joe, you  
take Brent. Then we'll regroup at the police station to see if Chief McGinnis knows anything that can  
help us on the case."

"Fork it over bro." Frank demanded, holding his hand out to Joe. The younger Hardy quickly handed  
over ten dollars to his brother. "I told you, fifteen minutes or less."

"Fifteen minutes or less for what Frank?" Nancy asked.

"For you to take command Ma'am."

"Well, get your caboose moving buster, we've got a mystery to solve!" Nancy scowled at Frank, then  
ignoring him, handed Joe a piece of paper with two addresses written on it. "Home, and the business.  
Come on Frank, we'll take my lil' blue convertible." Grabbing her keys and purse Nancy called her  
good-byes to Hannah and rushed out with the Hardy's. It was mystery time!

Ding-Dong! The bell rang at the Cassidy residence. "Hello?" A petite blond poked her head out the  
door. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Linda Cassidy, is she in right now?" Nancy proceeded to ask the young stranger.

"No, she's not. I'm her sister, Liz. Do you want to leave a message?" Liz asked helpfully.

"No thank you. You see, I went to high school with Linda and there's going to be a get together soon,  
so I really need to see her in person." Nancy fibbed, hoping her lie sounded good to the girl, it certainly  
sounded flimsy to her.

"Well, you can probably find her at Hanover's Jewelry. She's visiting her boyfriend, Brent." Liz replied  
calmly, unaware of the effect her answer had on the two detectives on her doorstep.

"Thank you Liz." Frank called over his shoulder as they headed for the car. "I'm sure we'll catch up with  
her there."

"Well that's a twist." Nancy muttered as they climbed back into the convertible. "I'll bet Joe's having  
more luck than us."

"Probably, we better head over to the police station, we'd cause too much of a disturbance if we  
headed to Hanover's." Frank decided, turning the car in the opposite direction of the factory. "Maybe  
we'll dig up something interesting while we wait."

"Uumm, are you sure that Brent isn't avaible right now. I really need to see him." Joe pleaded with the  
Hispanic girl at the front desk.

"You see, I'm his lawyer, and I really need to speak with him, it's very urgent."

"Mr. Hanover didn't say you'd be coming today, you're not expected till next week Mr. Jamison." The  
secretary replied questionably.

"Change of plans. You see, my grandmother died, so this is the only time I can see Brent." Joe lied,  
crossing his fingers behind his back as he masked his face with a sorrowful combination of pain and  
sadness.

"Well go on up. He should be in the lounge right now, third floor, fourth door on the right." The young  
woman soothed. "I'm really sorry about your grandmother, Hon, wish there was something I could do."

"Thank you." Joe replied sadly. 'You've done plenty.' He smiled mentally as he strode towards the  
elevator. Punching in the button for the third floor, he shifted his feet from side to side as he tried to  
come up with an alibi to tell Brent. Obviously he would notice something was up if Joe showed up  
pretending to be his lawyer. But if his lawyer was only sending an assistant... yes, that would work.  
Smiling, Joe stepped confidently into the elevator.

"Let me do the talking." Nancy advised as they stepped inside the chilly police building. Nancy was  
glad for her light jacket, spring or not it was always good to be prepared.

"Why?" Frank asked, a little hurt.

"Do you speak fluent Spanish?"

"No."

"Well, the secretary here only speaks Spanish."

"Good idea."

Frank hung back as Nancy approached the desk, speaking rapidly in Spanish. The plump middle-aged  
woman smiled, nodded, and responded quickly in Spanish, then pointed to Frank. Nancy blushed and  
shook her head no.

The two detectives soon found themselves whisked away into the police Chief's office. "So, I hear  
you're working on another case Nancy?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Yessir." Nancy did a mock salute. "We were wondering if we could get your help. Do you have any  
information on stolen goods in the area?"

McGinnis looked surprised. "In our area. Well yes, but we were trying to keep it quiet until we could  
figure out who was behind it. Most of the articles that were stolen came from Hanover's Jewelry and a  
few from small pawnshops. We don't really have any leads and didn't want to involve you until we knew  
what we were up against."

"Well Frank, Joe and I are now formally investigating the thefts. We have good reason to believe that  
there is a big smuggling operation going on right here in River Heights." Nancy explained, skipping  
the unnecessary introductions, for the Hardy's and the River Heights police force knew each other well.

"We only have two suspects so far, Linda Cassidy and Brent Hanover." Frank went on, detailing their  
hunches to the police chief. "We were wondering if we could see their files."

"I'm afraid you won't find anything interesting in there kids, those two haven't been in any trouble here.  
Trust me I know the citizens of River Heights like the back of my hand.

Nancy shrugged, pulling out the files anyway. After thirty minutes of thorough investigating Frank and  
Nancy concluded what the chief had already told them. Their two suspects were completely unmarred  
by even a speeding ticket. Just as Nancy was about to thank McGinnis for his time a flash of color by  
the window drew her attention away.

"Frank, Chief, I think we have an eavesdropper." Nancy warned her friends in a whisper. Dropping to  
a crouch, she snuck to a spot directly below the window. Peering over the ledge, her eyes locked with  
that of the man outside. He darted away into the hedge, but Nancy, quick as ever, managed to get a  
good description of him.

As she took off in hot pursuit, her years in track coming in handy, she repeated the description to  
herself. Dark hair, a small mustache, beady eyes placed far apart, and a short stocky frame. He was  
wearing a green tee shirt, size large, khaki pants from the Gap, a ten- year-old pair of running shoes  
from Nike, and a bright red reversible blazer from JC Penny's.

Planting her left foot carefully, Nancy took a giant leap; glad she had participated in the long jump. Her  
aim was true, all that archery gave her a good eye, and she and the man went tumbling to the ground.  
Remembering her riding instructor's advice for falling, Nancy rolled, jumping up just in time to execute  
a judo kick to the mans legs, keeping him from running away. 'Hmm, I'll have to put martial arts as an  
extracurricular activity for my college application form.' She thought to herself as she pinned the man's  
arms behind his back, glad her gym teacher had persuaded her to work a bit in the weight room.

"What were you doing spying on us back there?" Nancy demanded of the stranger. His response  
startled her. He was speaking fluent Atlantian! Nancy thought she was hearing things, but as the man  
continued, she quickly deciphered his words, having picked up the language in one of her courses on  
the ancient city Atlantis in high school.

"Koa li aoth othao mie soma nsoe gloa me afro cake pasta meatie pie!" The man exclaimed, and Nancy  
easily translated his words to mean 'Kodan will never betray his superiors by telling nosy teenager why  
he was listening!'

"Jusou li sod ogha domanwe amoes amighs juiofre Hosguff!" Nancy retorted quickly the language  
coming back to her quite easily. Her words translated simply to: 'You mean, mean man! Tell me right  
now what you were doing or I'll boil your eyelashes in a soup made of your toenails then tickle you till  
you say Uncle."

Nancy heard a screeching of tires as Frank and Police Chief McGinnis pulled up in a squad car. "Gee  
Nan, did you have to chase him so far? We've been trailing you for three miles!" Frank exclaimed,  
stepping out of the police car.

Holding up her index finger, which in their secret detective code meant, 'Wait one moment, I have to  
get one more piece of information out of this guy, plus I have to sneeze!' Nancy turned back to the  
strange man.

"Co fu da lei we caw si latte me do ray!" She told the man ominously. The man cowered for what she  
said in English was, 'You better cooperate because these men here will cover you in sugar and leave  
you in mosquito country then give you countless noogies until you tell us what we need to know.'

"Hosguff! Hosguff!" The man cried uncle; tears of terror streaming down his cheeks. "Me tell persons  
what they need know." The man exclaimed in poor English as Nancy turned her head and sneezed.

"Why don't you two go on home," the Chief suggested. "We'll call you in once we get a full confession."  
The two detectives nodded their heads in agreement, and headed for Nancy's convertible, which had  
been driven up by a young police officer.

"Why don't we swing by and see how Joe's doing?" Nancy suggested as they pulled out onto the main  
street.

"Perhaps it would be best if we waited outside." Frank replied, worrying that their presence might  
blow his brother's cover.

"Good idea." Nancy agreed as they headed for Hanover's Jewelry.

"I'm glad you were able to see me on such short notice." Joe thanked Brent quietly as he sat down on a  
plush couch in the Hanover lounge. "Mr. Jamison said you were kind and I see he was right." Joe  
continued, pouring on the compliments.

"Yes, yes." Brent replied impatiently, gesturing for Joe to continue, "What's your business here?"

"Well you see Mr. Hanover-"

"Brent."

"Right." Joe continued. "The IRS is on the brink of suing your company on accounts of  
Money Laundering, International Skullduggery, and Making Toddlers Cry." Joe knew he was taking a  
stab in the dark on the last one, but you never knew what would give someone away.

"The kid dropped his pacifier, I was only giving it back to his mother ok?" Brent snapped, cold gray  
eyes blazing. "In any case-" The young heir was cut off as the door burst open and an attractive young  
woman breezed in.

"Brent, honey, I couldn't get you a Coke so I brought a Pepsi." She said, holding out a soda can to the  
young man while clutching a Diet Coke to her chest. "Who is this?" She asked, her lips turning down  
into a pout.

"A representative of my lawyer, Lin dear." Brent explained patiently. "It seems someone thinks I'm  
behind the thefts that have been going on lately."

'Ah ha!' Joe thought triumphantly, 'I didn't mention the thefts at all! He knows something!' Before the  
young investigator could say anything though, the girl spoke up again.

"Is this going to take very long? You promised you'd spend the whole day with me!" She whined,  
acting very childish. She opened her mouth to continue but was cut off as one of the giant glass  
windows imploded, sending shards of glass flying. Joe dove, pushing the two into safety as two buff  
men in ski masks swung in through the now open window.

"Nobody move," one said, aiming a gun at them, "and nobody gets hurt."

"How long do you think it will be?" Frank asked Nancy, who was going through her trunk. All about  
her lay tools, flashlights, ropes, first aid kits, spare suitcases, spare tires, fingerprint kits, handcuffs,  
grappling lines, weighted nets and an odd assortment of detective supplies.

"A couple more minutes tops." She replied thoughtfully, listening to the growing hum of a helicopter.  
Suddenly, as the helicopter swerved towards the building, a window on the third floor shattered. Raising  
a pair of binoculars to her eyes, Nancy spotted Joe pushing Brent and Linda to the floor. A moment  
later, two men with guns swung through the window.

"Looks like my little brother needs our help." Frank said, looking over at Nancy.

"Sure does, here take this." Nancy handed Frank what looked like a real gun, but, upon inspection,  
turned out to be the latest model from Toy Guns for Kiddies.

He watched as Nancy grabbed a grappling line, and threw it into the broken window. The men didn't  
seem to notice, and Nancy was soon climbing nimbly up the rope. It didn't hurt that for her last  
vacation she took a class centering on these types of situations, and then climbed the Grand Canyon  
while doing a project for a photography club.

Frank clambered up after her and soon both were crouching in the open window, toy guns held out in  
front of them. "Drop your weapons and step away from the hostages." He shouted at the men.

Startled the men dropped their guns, whirling around with their hands in the air. Joe jumped up,  
securing the men's hands with some rope that Nancy had tossed him.

"Alright everybody, march on down to police headquarters." Nancy shouted orders. Out of the corner  
of her eye she could see Brent and Linda slipping away. Grabbing an extra length of rope, Nancy  
twisted it into a lasso, capturing the two with ease. Why, just that spring she had been to a case on a  
dude ranch. Matter a fact; she was the best roper there. Not that she liked to brag or anything.

A few hours later, Nancy, Frank and Joe arrived back at the Drew household after turning the four  
suspects over to the police. All the lights were on in the living room, and there were two extra cars in  
the driveway.

"Hannah!" Nancy called as she stepped over the threshold. "There's two extra cars in the drive, who's  
over?"

"I am." Ned Nickerson replied testily as he stepped into the foyer. Nancy and the Hardy's gaped  
openmouthed. "We had a date planned for four hours ago."

"I know, I know." Nancy apologized, distraught. Ned and she had been dating for years, ever since  
she was eighteen. Now that he was in college and she, being eighteen, was just out of high school,  
they rarely had time to see each other. Her last case, The Troll Thief Treachery, had caused them to  
spend spring break apart.

"You see, the Hardy's are investigating a case here, and they needed my help." Nancy began to explain  
but was cut off by Joe.

"We didn't exactly say we needed her-OUCH!" Frank stomped down on Joe's foot. "But she's right,  
we do." Joe finished as he rubbed his sore appendage.

"I see." Ned started, trying to keep his anger in check. "So, the Harvey boys come callin' and you  
instantly drop everything to run gallivanting off with them."

Suddenly, George Fayne and Bess Marvin burst through the kitchen door, landing in a pile of arms  
and legs. Looking around sheepishly, it was obvious the two had been eavesdropping.

"Now Ned," Bess said as she stood up, brushing her designer clothes off. "That's a bit unfair."

"Why?" Ned shouted. "I never get to see my own girlfriend because she's constantly breaking off our  
dates! And you have the nerve to call that unfair!"

"NO!" Bess retorted. "What's unfair is you purposefully messing up their last name. It's Hardy, not  
Harvey."

"Oh, well." Ned blushed, having made a mistake. "Sorry guys, my fault, I let my anger get the best of  
me." He apologized, shaking the Hardy's hands chummily.

"Great!" Bess exclaimed happily. "Now that that's settled, we can go have some of Hannah's special  
blueberry tarts!"

"Not so fast." Ned responded, barring the kitchen door. "There's something I need to say while  
everyone's in this room."

Everyone paused, staring at Ned. Joe and Frank, who had been arguing in hushed tones stopped and  
stared at him. Hannah and Bess, who had been heading for the kitchen, stopped in mid-step and  
turned to look at Ned. George, who was beginning to fear this would turn out to be another boring  
night at the Drew home, suddenly perked up. Nancy stood stock-still; afraid Ned was still angry with  
her.

"Nancy," Ned asked patiently, his emotions finally in check, "Will you promise me that you will keep  
our date for tomorrow, no matter what?" He raised his arm sweeping it around the room. "With  
everyone here as your witness, do you promise?"

Nancy's eyes misted, but she quickly blinked them away. As the psychology instructor in high school  
told her, 'in a battle where emotions triumph, you must hold yours back. Whatever the cost.'

"I'm sorry Ned." Nancy whispered bravely. "But if something new comes up in the case, I have to be  
there. So please, forgive me; but I cannot promise you."

Ned's eyes blazed, and he stomped angrily towards the door. At the last second, he whirled around. "I  
know what this is! You're dating one of them!" He pointed his finger accusingly at the Hardy's. George  
and Bess sat awestruck in a corner, eating popcorn as they watched the drama unfold.

"Ned!" Nancy exclaimed, horrified. "What a rude thing to say! The Hardy's and I are friends! Can't you  
understand that?"

"Then explain why you're-"

"Explain why I'm what Ned?" Nancy burst in. "Helping two good friends of mine out on an  
important case?"

"No! Why you can never find time for me!"

"Ned, we've had this conversation before! Would you rather me do nothing when horrible things are  
happening, just to keep you satisfied?" Nancy yelled back at her boyfriend.

"Yes!"

"Ned that's selfish!"

"Wanting to spend time with my girlfriend is selfish?"

"No, wanting me to jeopardize the safety of others just to have dinner with you." Nancy finished  
quietly. "Now please, leave. This conversation is over."

"Fine. But you haven't seen the last of me!" With that, Ned stormed through the door, slamming it  
shut behind him.

"That was just like the soaps." Bess breathed from where she was now inhaling Hannah's tarts faster  
than the speed of light.

"Yeah. Except they usually don't gain ten pounds by eating sweets!" George reprimanded her cousin  
as she continued to work on her push-ups.

"Yeah? Well by now in the soaps the tomboy character would have had a girly make-over!" Bess  
retorted quickly, popping another tart into her mouth.

Just as George was going to make a smart remark in response to Bess's, the phone jangled noisily,  
drawing everyone's attention to the side table.

"I'll get it." Nancy said, walking quickly over to the phone. "Hello, Drew residence, Nancy speaking."  
She answered the phone professionally, remembering the class she took on good people skills.

"Nancy? This is McGinnis," The police chief sounded distraught. "We need your help down at the  
station."

"Sure, but what's wrong?" Nancy asked worriedly.

"I'll... I'll tell you when you get here." He answered quickly, hanging up the phone abruptly.

"That was strange." Nancy murmured to herself. "He's never usually that rude, even when he's in a  
rush."

"Who was that Nan?" Hannah asked curiously.

"The Chief. He needs me and the Hardy's at the station; but he wouldn't say what for." Nancy paused  
for a second, thinking back to the brief call. "Strange, now that I think about it, it sounded like there  
was a small scuffle in the background. We'd better get over there right now, my intuition tells me that  
the Chief needs our help!"

Within seconds the trio had flown out the door and were clambering into the rental car. Hannah  
poked her head out the door. "Do be careful Nan dear, and call if you're going to be late!"

Nancy and the Hardys crept silently up towards the police building, keeping to the shadows as Nancy  
had suggested. After all, she was the one who took the police training course when it was offered a  
year before. Besides, she had generously lent them some black clothing from one of her suitcases in  
her trunk.

Now the young detectives crouched at an open window, trying desperately to hear what was going on  
inside. The three waited for what seemed like hours, (but was really only ten minutes by Nancy's light  
up watch) till finally, fearing no one was inside, they began to creep off. Suddenly, a door was heard  
slamming shut. The teenagers hustled back to the window, listening intently.

"Told you they no show up!" The broken English clearly belonged to the man they had captured  
earlier that day. "But boss man don' listen. Maybe we should told them bout hostages."

The three sleuths' eyes widened when they heard the word 'hostages'. A man was now answering back  
to the Atlantian, but in French. Joe cocked his head slightly to the left, indicating in code that he  
wanted to know what was being said and also had a terrible cramp in his left foot. Nancy went to  
work deciphering the words while Frank moved aside so Joe could stretch out to rid himself of the  
cramp.

As soon as the man stopped talking, Nancy whipped out a pad and pencil and began to write down  
what he had said, "Wait five more minutes Kodan, I'm sure they'll do anything to save their police  
friend and these two up and coming citizens no?" was what the paper read. Just as Frank was about  
to write a response a shadow blocked the light from the window, basking them in darkness. A large  
hand clamped down on Nancy's upper arm, pulling her upwards.

"I said, wouldn't you?" The French man repeated maliciously as the two men in ski masks came out  
behind them. "Oh, would you two be so kind as to escort these two young gentlemen inside? Miss  
Drew and I will be waiting in my parlor."

The two men nodded, and each took charge of one of the Hardy's, steering them inside. Nancy felt  
helpless as the man pulled her through the open window, and into McGinnis's office. Setting her down  
in a chair, he motioned for Kodan to tie her arms behind the chair. Hope lit up Nancy's eyes as she  
positioned her hands carefully behind her. She was using an age-old technique that she had learned  
during a seminar years before hand, but she was sure it would work; it had rescued her time and again  
on previous mysteries.

Sure enough, the technique prevented her hands from being bound too tightly, and she began working  
on getting free as soon as Kodan stepped back.

Now that they were in better light Nancy could clearly see her captor. He was a large, balding man,  
(approximately 275 pounds with only seven twelfths of his hair left) in his late forties. A large gold ring  
on his right hand suggested that he was very rich and not married. A navy suit from Knickerbockers,  
(a posh men's store), in extra large, polished black dress shoes from SanDal's, (the ritziest shoe shop),  
in size thirteen, and a Fire Engine Red tie from Rag's (the best tie shop in America) along with a  
spotless white button down from GS Wendy's completed the man's rich look. His face was pudgy,  
but stern, commanding respect, with hard blue eyes that could cut through you like a hot knife through  
butter. All this Nancy took in through her peripheral vision in the few nano-seconds before the  
Hardy's were brought in.

"Good work boys!" The boss exclaimed as the Hardy's were tied to chairs also. The men bowed and  
stood at attention in the back of the room.

Nancy's eyebrows rose slightly when both Frank and Joe sneezed, telling her that they had escaped  
their bonds, how about her? She coughed, letting them know that she was free also, but wanted to  
wait for a confession. Moving her right foot away from her left, she also informed them that she had  
pulled a microscopic recording device from her pocket and was recording all that was being said.

Joe instantly began questioning the man. "So, you've outsmarted the world's best detectives." He began  
in a curious tone. "I only wish I knew who you were."

Joe's comment struck home, for the man was obviously self-centered. "Jacques LeBeau." He answered  
haughtily.

Nancy smiled when she realized his surname meant 'the handsome.' 'How ironic!' She thought to  
herself as she asked the next question. "How did you manage to do it Mr. LeBeau? You had us chasing  
after everyone but yourself."

"It was easy, especially since I had some inside help." The detectives gasped as they watched Ned step  
lightly through the doorway.

"Ned!" Nancy cried out in shock. "How could you do such a thing?"

"Yeah Ned?" Joe remarked sarcastically. "I thought you were one of us!" He added seriously.

"I had to Nan." He began pleadingly. "When I called your house this morning, Hannah told me that  
you were off on a mystery chase with the Hardys. I just knew there had to be some way to get you off  
the case in time for our date so I called Rent-A-Thug and got these two to cause a disturbance. I  
figured with your two main suspects gone, you'd at least have time for dinner."

"Ned, you know that would never have worked." Frank reprimanded. "Nancy never gives up on  
anything, especially a case."

"Theoretically I wouldn't have gone with you anyway Ned, I would have been searching for those two."  
Nancy chimed in.

"But that's the beauty of it." Jacques joined the conversation with an ironically jovial tone. "You still  
would have been chasing shadows. Those two kids weren't even involved in this." Jacques laughed,  
referring to Linda and Brent.

"We know that now." Nancy remarked smoothly. "But what ceases to amaze me is that you could pull  
off a big smuggling ring like this with only Kodan helping you."

"Only Kodan!" Jacques laughed heartily, "I have men waiting at the old warehouse on 74th Street to  
haul the goods to the nearest body of water. From there we will continue to transfer it until it gets to  
the mother country, and into the hands of one of the best traders in the French black market!"

"Are you going to be the one in control of your ship or will one of the men steer it for you." Joe asked  
with fake interest.

"Me? Steer a ship?" Jacques roared with laughter yet again. "No, Kodan will do that." His eyes narrowed.  
"Why do you ask all these questions?"

Nancy shook her hair so it fell from behind her ears, signaling to the Hardy's that it was time to act.  
"We've just always had a passion for the truth." Nancy replied as she leapt out of her chair, her years in  
ballet paying off. With a swift judo kick, Jacques went down, striking his head on the desk corner,  
knocking him unconscious.

Frank and Joe were grappling with Ned and the two Rent-A-Thugs, a doing a grand job of subduing  
them. Nancy ducked as Kodan attempted to deliver a roundhouse blow. Her Shang warrior instincts  
took over, and she dropped lower into the traditional crouch. Balancing herself with the palm of her  
hand she kicked up, catching Kodan in the jaw, with a well placed punch, Kodan was down. Nancy  
looked up to see Frank and Joe had succeeded in defeating their adversaries.

Suddenly there came a pounding on the door and before Nancy Frank or Joe could even bat an  
eyelash, it was blown in, and Carson Drew, Hannah, Bess, George, Brent, Linda and Chief McGinnis  
stood openmouthed in the doorway.

"Could someone please explain what's been going on here?" Mr. Drew asked, looking around at the  
broken furniture and the defeated criminals. "And someone tell me why the Hardy's have been beating  
on Ned."

"Well you see daddy, it all started this morning when the Hardy's came for an unexpected visit..."

"Wow." Nancy exclaimed as she relaxed in her living room. "That was the least time consuming  
mystery I've ever had a hand in."

"More like solved Nan." Frank corrected. "I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't come  
along."

"Oh, you guys are just too much." Nancy blushed modestly.

"Nan darling!" Hannah called from the foyer. "There's someone here to see you."

Nancy and the Hardys looked expectantly towards the hallway as Brent Hanover and Linda Cassidy  
walked in hand in hand. Brent carried a small package in his free hand.

"We just wanted to stop by and thank you for clearing our names." Brent said as Hannah offered them  
a seat.

"Oh, it was nothing..." Joe was cut off as Brent handed Nancy the package. "Oh, you mean her. I knew  
that."

"This is just our way of saying thanks." Linda finished as Nancy delicately peeled the paper off of the  
pack.

"It's gorgeous!" Nancy exclaimed as she held up a glittering tiara encrusted with sapphires and  
diamonds. "But I can't accept this! It's just too much!"

"I insist." Brent persisted. "We won't take no for an answer."

"Well, I guess we could find room." Nancy trailed off as the tiara began to worm it's way into her heart.

"We have to be going, we just wanted to drop that off and say thanks." Linda concluded as she and  
her boyfriend waved good-bye and walked back out the door.

A murmur of 'excuse me's' and 'sorry's' could be heard from the foyer. A moment later Ned Nickerson,  
followed closely by a police officer, shuffled into the living room.

"Nancy, I know what I did was horrible but, if at all possible, could you find it in your heart to forgive  
me? I know this sounds strange, but I only did it because I love you." Ned pleaded, his eyes filled with  
sorrow and remorse.

"Aww! That's so sweet!" Joe cooed sarcastically from his armchair.

"Joe be nice, can't you see they're having a moment?" Frank reprimanded playfully from his own chair.

"You're right Ned, what you did was horrible. But I can't stay mad at you forever. After all, we've been  
dating for three years, ever since I was eighteen." Nancy replied.

"Three years." Ned echoed. "That's a long time Nan. And, I think it's time I asked you something."  
Frank and Joe stopped their teasing and Nancy drew in her breath in anticipation of what was coming  
next. Ned dropped to one knee in front of Nancy's chair. "Nancy Drew, will you go steady with me?"

"Ned, I'm sorry, even though I forgave you, I don't think we should see each other for awhile." Nancy  
apologized softly.

"Your times up mister." The police officer reminded Ned, taking him by the elbow and leading him  
out the door. "Visiting hours are nine to three ma'am if you have any inclination to stop by." The  
police officer stated as he closed the door behind them.

"Nan, I'm sorry." Frank soothed. "So what are you going to do now that you don't have a mystery to  
solve?" He asked, changing the subject.

"I don't-" Nancy was cut off as Bess and George once again burst into the room.

"Nancy! The Dana girl's are outside!" Bess panted. "They say they..." Bess trailed off, trying to catch  
her breath.

"-Need your help on a Canadian mystery involving illegal poaching by British and French on Inuit  
ground."George finished up where her cousin left off."Well, I'll tell them I can leave now." Nancy announced as she strode towards the door. "You guys  
ought to come too," she said invitingly to Frank, Joe, Bess and George.

"Sure, I guess we'll have to wait till this mystery's solved to have our victory sundaes right?" Bess asked  
sadly.

"I guess you're right Bess," Nancy affirmed, "I guess you're right."

THE END!

Nyah, hoped you liked it, I had written this awhile ago for my cousins (they love Nancy Drew too), basing  
the spoofy parts of it off of things we had noticed from the books, like how Nancy never ages, Bess's  
eating habits, the way Nancy always knows what to do, the way she takes over a situation so quickly, etc.  
Anywho, review please, and let me know what you think!

08/10/06- Sorry about the Koran issue, I wrote this in 8th grade and hadn't looked at it since. I never  
realized that gigantic blunder, and I hope no one was irreversibly offended. Changes have been made. 


End file.
